SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, while you're being seated, I want to remind you, as we have are honored today to have Gary and Melissa Ingram from Love and Truth Network with us. They're going to be sharing the Heart of the Father with us this morning. I want to remind you, next Sunday, everyone say next Sunday. We are taking up a special offering for the local missions that we shared with you a few weeks back in September when we had them all come to the church. Options now, um lamp, lunch, and lamp, um, House of Hope, and I know I'm for Mailbox Club. And um, we're gonna be taking up an offering for to be dispersed among those ministries this next Sunday. So please pray. Please say, Lord, top of what I'm giving you, what do you want me to give to this offering? And we're gonna do it as part of our service next week as an apostolic center here, as a hub. Part of our role is to resource ministries, and that's what we're gonna do here. And um, I think that was my only announcement. And so without any further ado, Gary and Melissa Ingram.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Thanks, Michael. Good morning, everybody. So good to be with you this morning. Um, yeah, I just I've been here three or four times, I think now. I've kind of lost track a little bit, but I feel like I was specifically told that unless I brought my wife with me, I wasn't welcome back here again. So here we are. So yes, Melissa's with us. Uh and my boys are here. Our boys are here too, uh, for the first time as well. So it's just great to be able to be here with you as a family. I do a lot of travel and a lot of speaking kind of all around the country, uh, based on what our ministry talks so much about with regard to identity and um healthy biblical sexuality and relationships, authentic and deep relationships, but I don't get to travel too much with my family, but it's always a joy when that happens. So grateful to do that here with you. I'll just mention very quickly before we get into the service, there are there's a book table in the back with our information on it. There's some freebie stuff back there. Uh, please take uh advantage of that. There's a pamphlet with my wife's in my testimony front and back. There's a little bit about our ministry back there. There's a place where you can sign up if you're interested in following our newsletter, which comes out every couple of uh months, so it doesn't fill up your inbox too much. But there's a book back here by a friend of ours who's written on uh really answers to gender uh questions. Uh and also there's a an 11 chapter, uh, 11 different guys who wrote their testimony out who came out of all kinds of sexual brokenness, whether it's out of the LGBT world, heterosexual brokenness. Uh, we wanted to provide some uh fresh testimonies of men who have walked through that brokenness. But that's not just a men's issue, that's a women's issue too. And uh we're working on a women's book as well that will be out very soon uh with women's testimonies as well. My book is also in the back back there. The title of it is called Am I Gay? I know that's very subtle, you might have no idea what it's talking about, but uh that's uh the reason we named it that is because that's one of the most Google searched questions. Think about that. And and I had that question, and I thought for sure that I was. I lived in that space for a long time and embraced that I that sense of identity. And honestly, the conclusion of the story says, no, that's never that was never true about me. I was confused. We're gonna talk about that in just a minute. What is our true identity? And then the last thing I'll mention, there's a few other books back there, but there's one book back there called Helping Millennials Thrive. And this is based on a Barna report, George Barna report called Millennials in America that came out a couple of years ago. And a num a bunch of us were invited to do a panel discussion about that uh that report, and that later turned into a book that I got to write a chapter on, and a bunch of other thought leaders did as well. That book is available back there as well. So um, you know, it it's whenever I I love um this church, New Covenant, because for what many reasons, but one reason is uh nobody reached out to me two weeks ago and said, we need your full outline, we need to know exactly what you're talking about, and uh and you know, because some churches actually do that. And honestly, the way that I'm wired, I don't work that way. Like I was during worship, I felt like there were some things that the Lord was changing and tweaking about what he wanted me to talk about. I wasn't even going to mention this passage, but it came to me when we were worshiping. You know, one of the lines that was sung, not even as the primary song, but as a bridge um between songs, was he's worthy of it all. He's worthy of it all. And so do you agree that he actually is worthy of it all? And and and so I think that we so often um connect with that phrase, and rightly so, that he's worthy of our honor, he's worthy of our respect, he's worthy of everything about us, but is he also worthy to bear your shame? Is he worthy to bear your fear? Is he worthy to bear your pride? Is he worthy to take the most shameful stuff that you wrestle with that you're hiding from everybody?

unknown 5:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Is he worthy of that? Is he worthy of our obedience when he tells us to come into community? When he says that community is our prescription for transformation in James 5 16 and 1 John 1 9 and Hebrews chapter 3. Is he worthy of that? He is worthy of that, isn't he?

SPEAKER_04 5:24

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

And the truth is we can't get set free by ourselves. Don't you hate that?

SPEAKER_04 5:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

I mean, I tried that for years and years and years. I bet some of you have too, maybe decades of time. It doesn't work, it's never meant to work. We are meant to work out our sin struggles, our sin bents, our our fleshly issues. Even though we are new creations in Christ, as Christ followers, we still have a flesh that needs to be put under submission to our new man or new woman in Christ, right?

SPEAKER_04 6:00

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

And the way that that is done is in the context of community. And this this is a beautiful this is beautiful, but this ain't community. Community is getting with three or four others. It's putting everything on the table. It's saying, This is what I'm wrestling with, this is what I'm struggling with. This eating thing has been just wrecking my life forever. This substance abuse um struggle of mine that I've never wanted to call it abuse, but I turned to alcohol way too much. I'm looking at crap online, I'm looking at junk that I should not be involved in. I'm bound up in patterns of sexual sin. And yet I feel like I'm just living this double life. Is he worthy of setting you free of that? He's done all the work to set us free.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

And so that's what we want to talk a little bit about that this morning with a little bit of a different uh twist and angle. In Proverbs chapter 24, verse 17, it says this, or sorry, verse 16. It says, For a righteous man falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumbles in times of calamity. Now, for me, I would read that passage, and that wasn't terribly comforting. I wish it had said seven thousand times. That would feel more like my history, my my story. I bet that resonates with some of you too. It doesn't seven times, but of course, seven is this is this continuous number in scripture. He's not just saying seven times. No matter how many times you fall, it's the one that rises again. And and honestly, as we were worshiping, and it's always on Melissa's in my heart, Lord, we don't want to just tell our story for people to hear a story that they're not really connected to, and they walk out thinking, oh, that's amazing what God did in their lives. All we care about is frankly, what does God want to do in your life?

SPEAKER_04 7:50

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

For each one of you sitting in this room, young person, mom, dad, single man or woman, what does God want to do in your life that connects in some way to our story? Because we all have individual stories, but our stories are all connected. And the truth is, there may, I think there's many people in a room this size, filled with so many people, where you've fallen and you've settled. You just feel like, you know what, I've tried, I've gotten up before, and I'm back here again. And I don't want to get back up again. I don't want to just keep repeating this pattern. But who have you invited into your life to be brutally honest with and real with to help you on this journey of becoming? And so, really, this morning, what we wanted to start off with is one of our primary passages that our ministry is built on. Love and Truth Network is built around, I mean, there's lots of scriptures we reference all the time, but in but really going back to the very beginning in Genesis chapter one.

SPEAKER_04 8:57

Yeah, Genesis chapter one, verses 26 and 27. Then God said, Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God, he created them, male and female, he created them. Now, if you have been paying attention to culture, to the world, right, this idea is under attack. Would we agree? The idea that we've been created in the image of God, male and female. And also, what's interesting, going back to what Gary was saying about being wired for community, is that God in the Trinity is relational. He says, then God said, Let us make mankind in our image. And so we were not created to do life on our own, and we certainly were not meant to try to create God in our image. That's what this cultural situation is. And even some of within the church, they've somehow come to the conclusion that God's work through Jesus Christ on the cross and raising him from the dead, that somehow doesn't apply to our sexuality and to our identity. As far as I know, and what I've experienced, and what we see hundreds and thousands of men and women experience, is that Jesus is still in the business of resurrecting lives, right? Amen. Like Jesus is resurrected with power, and as long as we cooperate with him, which is hard, like um, we have a flesh, and our flesh cannot be rehabilitated, it will never be rehabilitated. It won't. It has to die, it has to be crucified with Christ. And it's interesting because during worship, the verse that came to mind is my baptism verse, Galatians 2.20, which says, I have been crucified with Christ. I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. This body that I now live in, I live by faith in the Son of God who gave his life for me. Something like that, right? And so the question is what we're challenging this morning is who are you listening to? Who are you following? Who are you believing for your identity, your identity in Christ, which is so important, but also your identity as a man or as a woman, as a girl or a boy, that isn't just incidental, that wasn't assigned by some random occurrence. No, God destined each one of us to reflect him uniquely as men and women.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

And I think when Melissa is saying also, who are you following or who are you listening to? What I immediately thought of is this. I think so many times in the church, when we recognize the absolute confusion that's out there, you know, in in in uh right in front of the passage that Melissa read in Genesis, five times starting in verse 14, or sorry, in verse 24, it's talking about God creating life. And in five different times it says, after their kind, after their kind, after their kind, five times it says that before we get to where God creates us in his image. Isn't that amazing? But but also we live in a culture that actually believes. I don't know if you're seeing this in some of your school systems, but we live in a culture that believes not only can a man become a woman and a girl become a boy and those kinds of things, which are utterly impossible, but we maybe we're just the wrong species. That a a boy or a girl could be a cat or a dog or any other thing, but God created them after their kind. He created us in his image. And so the culture has gone wild and has gone amok on these topics and these issues. But here's the thing we can sit and recognize that and give hearty approval to that. But when I look back at Israel and look at how many times Israel got off track and God punished and judged them, not just for the sake of punishing, but to correct them and bring them back into the right relationship with himself. But what was it that Israel did? Did they utterly um forget about the God of Israel? Did they utterly forget about him? I think there were some occasions where we see that that happened, but but what led to that, and in most cases, they didn't reject uh Jehovah entirely or Yahweh entirely. What they did is they mingled they mingled truth with other gods and falsehoods. And honestly, that same practice is alive and well in our churches, in our evangelical Orthodox churches. We we live in the waters of culture, we swim in the waters of culture, and I know that I'm affected. One of the reasons I love church on Sunday is because I feel like it's an opportunity to be recalibrated, back to what's true. Our own that there are so few people in the body of Christ who are spending regular time in the Word of God. We don't know the Word of God, and so we get tilted and we we wind up the trajectory six months out, a year out, five years out, looks radically different than if we had a single-hearted, single-minded devotion to the God who made us and who designed us. And yet we can be in that place where it's kind of a synchronistic um perspective. Actually, Barna's, um, some of Barna's research on on uh on evangelical pastors who actually uh clearly follow biblical teaching, the numbers are shocking. I think it's like 38% overall of evangelical pastors that have a biblical worldview. That's scary.

SPEAKER_04 16:03

I mean, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

You know? And so if that's true for pastors, how much more so is that true for us? It's this this again, adding in a lot of other things that that really do not fit within the the clear biblical framework and teaching of the scriptures. So here's what I want to, I just want to mention a couple of other passages in reference to what something Melissa said. And we are, there's there's a focal point we want to move toward here. But in just as an example, again, about God's intention, you know, many of us understand for uh Psalm 139 is one of the most common passages uh where David is saying in verse 13, for you formed my inward parts, you wove me in my mother's womb. Don't tell me that God doesn't have intention for babies in the womb, that he doesn't have an intention for who you are as a man, uh as a as a baby, a male or a female who is made in his image, we believe, of absolutely equal value based on Genesis 1, 26 and 27, but of different expressions of who he is. What a travesty that so many, and and you know, so many women have have taken on this kind of false masculine, maybe through fourth wave feminism or whatever, have taken on this false feminine to feminine uh masculine to rise up and try to be like a man. Well, a lot of that was prompted by the abuse of men toward women, right? And so there's an understandable angst about all of that and an un understandable reason for why we would, we would, um, women would respond that way, but the response was an over-response. And so now when you think about how culture really feeds into this, and women in so many ways are trying to kind of function like a man, and now we have a feminized masculine culture. Hello. Nancy Pearcy, one of uh my favorite authors and speakers, she's most recently written, she's written many books, she's phenomenal, and her most recent book is called The Toxic War on Masculinity. We need biblical masculinity back again, we need biblical femininity back, and that does not mean grinding either of those into some kind of submission or no, it's it's this functioning together in a way that really breathes breeds life. But so in Psalm 139, we see this passage about God creating us in his own creating us in the womb, but also in Jeremiah, it says this in verse 4 now the word of the Lord came to me saying, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. That is true for each of you. That is true for me and Melissa. Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. And before you were born, I I consecrated you. I have appointed you a prophet to the nations. Now we haven't all been appointed as prophets to the nations, but you have been appointed. We know in Ephesians that God has created good works for us to live out, correct? And so, really, honestly, overall, my heart is is um because I lived in such a miserable, navel-gazing, uh, you know, sinful, broken place. And I could have stayed there from the cradle to the grave practically. But God stepped in. And I believe that God wants to step in and meet you in some of your places. Maybe you're not in full-blown kind of addiction. Some probably are. Some probably are living a double life. God wants to meet you there and set you free. But many of us have settled for this is good enough. It's as good as it gets. And I want to tell you that's a lie. There's always more. You were created for kingdom purposes and kingdom value.

SPEAKER_04 19:48

And if we've settled, that's that's not attractive to the world.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

No, right?

SPEAKER_04 19:56

If we're giving them a half-hearted gospel with some power, but not really, over the really hard stuff, you we just kind of have to deal with that, then where's our hope? Where's the the purpose and the eternal focus that Jesus died to give us? Right?

SPEAKER_01 20:20

Yeah. And I mean, so ultimately, this for those who haven't heard our story before, just again, if you want to get the details, you can go to our website. Uh, we've given we have like 45-minute testimonies out there, as well as 12-minute and like three-minute that have that have been edited down, the books available in the back, obviously. But the Lord rescued both of us out of all kinds of sexual brokenness, out of identity confusion. And and what we want to see is that the church would be sharpened in your identity, that you would be sharpened as a man or a woman made in the image of God. And what does it look like to live into the fullness of the glory of that? It is no less glorious for a woman to bear the image of God as a woman than it is for a man to bear the image of God as a man. Both of them are glorious. And both of them in the church need to be more and more unveiled to live into the glory and the beauty of what that looks like.

SPEAKER_04 21:18

And I think the challenge is um, I know for me, not only was I not instructed and discipled, and and I wasn't taught and it wasn't modeled that to be a woman was a good thing. And in addition to that, there were messages and there were things that happened where I began to view being a woman as a liability, being a weakness. Like I didn't want to be a woman. And so where and the church is often known for what we're against, right? And not what we're for. I mean, do you understand what I'm saying? So, like this idea of just don't have sex until you get married, and that's it. I mean, there's no discipling, there's no, hey, let me tell you about the gift of our sexuality and why it's so important to protect it and to store it as a gift. And um, and that again, there's a purpose for our sexuality that actually reflects Jesus' and God's sacrificial love for the church. Like that's actually like the gospel is written in our sexuality. Have you ever thought about that? The good news of Jesus Christ is written in your sexuality? When's the last time you heard that? I I had never heard that growing up. And so part of this is really let's go back to original glory. We talk a lot about the fall, and we need to wrestle with that because we're living east of Eden. But can we return to original glory as a way of really raising up our children and our grandchildren? Like that, this is something really, really good to be protected and to be storted for the kingdom.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

And so really on our heart, yesterday when um and I that we knew that this was gonna be uh more of a family gathering as well with younger uh folks in here too, right? And we wanted to one one of the things that really troubles us greatly is that we see that um fatherhood is lacking. We see that um the uh really father absence, whether that's through divorce, whether that's um like for my for myself, my mom and dad stayed married, and I'm so grateful for that. My when my dad passed away, he and my mom have been married for 68 years, and I'm just so thrilled and so grateful that they stayed together through hard times, you know. But but the truth is, when I was growing up, my dad was completely emotionally absent. And so I he was present, but I didn't I couldn't find a way of connecting with him in in much of any way. And by the way, it wasn't on me to connect with my father, it was on my father to connect with me. And and because children have a natural longing to bond, obviously, with their mom and their dad. Both sons and daughters need fathers. And so the and and you know, here's the other thing uh that I just want to throw out there and say I I'm so glad that mothers are rightly there there are to be, you know, we've got LGBT month and and everybody else, you know, and then you look at the calendar and there's all kinds of dates. Good grief. Like moms should be honored as much as the LGBT world is honored, right? I mean, moms need to be honored many times during the year. I'm glad that there's at least one day where moms are honored and they should be. But many times we get to the Father's Day, right? Many times we get to Father's Day, and I feel like dads kind of get kicked in the teeth a little bit. Um but here, and so I understand that that can be a challenge, I think, for dads, but the reality is this isn't about what what I want to kind of shift to isn't about wagging a finger at fathers uh or at men. Again, we live in a culture now that just good, strong masculinity is oftentimes thought of and denigrated as toxic masculinity. That's garbage. We need strong men to be men of faith and men of God in the strength of their masculinity, which is meant to cover and protect. You know, I I just I see all the time these these memes about these girls and the messages on social media about girls that are having to deal with boys in the locker room and boys in sports and all this. I'm like, where are the adults? And I posted this yesterday, where are the adults protecting these girls, and where are the men protecting these girls? You know, saying, no, we are not going to allow girls to be abused by men who are confused about who they are or boys, right? And so this issue of fatherhood is so critical. And I want to tell you, as a dad, as a dad of of biological children, or a man who also has your spiritual father or your spiritual brother. My life was rescued by men who had no idea what they were doing and walking with me necessarily, but they loved me, they put their arms around me. I was in their men's group, they made it clear to me, Gary, no matter where you've been, no matter what you've done, and they knew my story, you belong with us, and we want you with us. I was in my mid-30s. I grew up in the church, I'd never heard those words from another, another group of Christian men prior to that, ever in my life. And I think sadly, that is typically what happens, is that men have kind of been relegated into a place of a lot of silence. The very last verse in the Old Testament says this, Malachi chapter 4. He will restore the hearts. He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse. God cares about the hearts of fathers being restored to their children and children being restored to their fathers. We live in a time where many times in the church, children are in a posture of defensive detachment from their fathers, and sometimes their moms. Dad's too busy all the time, dad's always at work all the time, dad has everything else going on all the time. But where is the where is the love? Where's the affection? Where's the shepherding of heart that moms and dads need to be giving to their children? We are oftentimes really good. I'm gonna hand this up back off to Melissa in a second, but we're oftentimes really good at behavior management of our children. And by the way, don't, I mean, please practice behavior management, right? Nobody wants to be around a child that you know where none of that is practiced. Behavior management is important, but the problem is, is we are so good at outer molding of our children, but we are not in any way connected to what's going on in their hearts. And that is true in the church. We must start to really shepherd. There's a there's a proverb that speaks to this. I forget which one it is, I apologize, but it just came to my mind. There's a problem, a proverb that speaks to the idea that a a man of wisdom um knows how to draw out waters from a deep well. And and I think that's such a beautiful picture for how fathers, mothers too, but mothers tend to be more kind of naturally prone to this. Children need both moms and dads. They need both images of God reflected in their life. They need men, they need fathers who are going to dip their bucket into their hearts on a regular basis and help them draw up what's really going on on the inside. Because you know what? It it sometimes at five, six, seven, eight, nine years old, children are dealing with some really dark things and some really hard questions that they are not just going to naturally come out in front of you and just lay them down and tell you about them, unless there's a relationship there. That's established that kind of shepherding. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_04 30:04

Can you give an example of that, Han?

unknown 30:06

Proverbs 25.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Thank you. Proverbs 25. Um, the in terms of that that passage. The the um yeah, so I can give it an example. I mean, with my own boys, one of the things that that I've done with them, and by the way, lots of imperfection. They they'll stand up and wave their hand. Dad has lots of imperfections. Uh done it, done lots of things wrong. Yes, sit down. Uh done lots of things wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a minute, I'm gonna call them up on stage and they can tell you all about it. But the the um, yes, I do practice behavior management. One of them just said that. The I believe in that. But it when they were ever since they've been really little, somehow because I didn't get this, and many times we go one one way or another. We don't get something, and so we don't practice it. We're not even aware that we need to practice it. But somehow I knew that probably because I was older when we had them. I was 42 and 44 when we had these boys. Thank God I wasn't 22. They're you know, their life would look very different. But um, every day I would get 15 minutes or so with each one of them and just sit and talk with them about and I one of the questions I would ask a lot, and that was, honey, how's your heart doing? Tell me about how your heart's doing of a five, six, seven-year-old boy. And when you're asking that kind of question many days during the week and getting that kind of time with them, what I feel like is that it every day was like a piece of onion paper being laid down. A little piece of onion paper, a little piece of trust, a little pie and I really tried, I've blown it in many ways, but I've really tried very much to never shame them when something would come out of their mouth that was a hard thing or a challenging thing, or they're questioning things about God, or that you know, whatever. And because I wanted them to always feel like no matter what I say, that dad is not going to shut me down or just come against me. He's he's going to welcome whatever it is I'm struggling with, even if it's hard. And so I'd say, and and so, you know, when you lay down hundreds and hundreds of days on end, those pieces of onion paper, they become this ream that is very difficult to tear apart. Ecclesiastes talks about the three-chord, you know, rope, that kind of thing. So that's that's one way that if your kids are young, by the way, let me just say this. We do a parenting summit uh that that is a half-day summit. And the two parts of this summit are the first part is on prevention. The second part is on recovery. And the recovery is, you know, really for older teens or or adult children that you're still trying to have an influence in their life, but the your ability to really influence and also practice behavior management, well, that chip is sailed in many respects, not maybe in every respect, but most respects. But the prevention side is um is how how can you start early? How can you start as a mom and a dad early on in the life of that child to lay a foundation that is going to, it's not going to foolproof and make it impossible for them to fall away or to turn away, but it is going to, I believe, create the best soil in which they can grow and produce the greatest fruit. Who do you think which group do you think winds up at these um parenting summits more than the other? The prevention side or the recovery side? Recovery. That's right. And I'm glad they're there. But you know who I wish were there? The prevention side. Uh there was one uh one place I was at a couple of weeks or a month ago or so, that uh there was a man there and his wife, and he had in his arms a little two-year-old, and that was their first son. I'm like, thank God. Thank God you're here. You get it, you understand that we need you need to learn early how to pour into these young ones. Well, that's that's what we want to be doing. And this is the heart of God that He wants to restore the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.

SPEAKER_04 33:59

And so some of you, especially the men who are in the room, you may be wondering, or you may be feeling like, how on earth do I do that because that was not given to me? Right? And that's true. I mean, you said it that we either model what was modeled for us or we try to do the opposite. And um, and so I think at this point it's really important that you continue to cultivate your relationship with God as father, because if you believe and you have experienced a passive or an absent father, and of course this is true for women as well, then you most likely relate to God as if he's passive or absent. And then you probably tend to either be over-controlling, which is not helpful, or you probably are passive and somewhat absent, whether that's physically absent or emotionally absent in your family. And so I think it's just important to really ask and to seek God and maybe some counsel from others in the church where you're disconnected from God, because ultimately He needs to father you first. He needs to be able to empower you, but often that comes through other men.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

Yes, it certainly does.

SPEAKER_04 35:53

It certainly does. I mean, how many of us have prayed and prayed and prayed about something, and we feel like our prayers bounce up against the ceiling and smack us back in the forehead? Right? And so if you're experiencing that, it's so important to get with two or three others and say, hey, I'm really struggling in really knowing that God is who he says he is in the Bible, that he is a good father, that his love does endure forever. And I I just think that's so important because we can't give what we haven't received. And we can't pour out of an empty place. And then the other thing I'm gonna say, as you were talking about shepherding the hearts of our children, is if you don't shepherd the hearts of your children, this is gonna shepherd their heart.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Or a teacher.

SPEAKER_04 36:54

Or a teacher, someone else will, or a friend, friends, a church, but you can bet there are plenty of people on the internet willing to shepherd your children. They are there are people seeking every opportunity to shepherd your children. I I mean, I hate to say it. And that's really hard. Um, we have been very intentional over the years to not give our boys access, unlimited access to a phone. And they will say, Oh yeah, that's true. Like almost to the point of aggravation. Um seriously. Would it have been easier to hand them a phone? You bet. Ten times easier. I could get some quiet, I could get some peace, we didn't have to we wouldn't have to watch every single show before we let them watch it.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

Or with them.

SPEAKER_04 37:46

Or with them. Tell them about Camp Cretaceous, Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

Oh, yeah. So I mean, I some of you are probably seeing the stuff going on the internet now with the cancellation of a particular um streaming service uh that uh shall remain nameless at the moment. And uh and one of the we we would watch this particular show on the internet, uh cartoon thing. Uh the boys and I would watch it together. And it was just this fun, I mean, not all terribly interesting to me in some ways, but this kind of fun uh thing. And then all of a sudden, as I'm watching it, I'm like, oh, this is not good. This these two girl characters, something's kind of brewing here. Are they actually gonna do this? And sure enough, we uh the girl starts talking to one of the boys about liking this other girl, and immediately my boys are like, they loved it, they loved the program, and and I enjoyed watching it with them, but we're like, nope, we're out, we're done. Well, now I I see that there's actually a kissing scene between these two girls in this cartoon for children, and so you know, and then and that this is just one of them. There's many others that are out there as well uh that are doing the same kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04 38:52

This wasn't in the first season, right? Right? So you're already hooked on a show. Maybe you've watched the first season of a show with your kids, and you're like, okay, this is great. And then it's season two or season three, episode five, something random, and all of a sudden they introduce these characters or characters that your kids have been following, and now there's this turn in the in the story, and they want to find out what happens, right? Because they've they're now invested in this character. That's just one example of how if you're not shepherding and discipling your children, there are plenty of other people who are happy to do it for you.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

And so, you know, as we are winding down here and about to wrap up, I just I just want to bring us back to really the question of um I this is a question I've been asked. Are you satisfied with your life? Are you satisfied with where you're at spiritually? Uh and and and I think we can be in a maybe in a good season of healthy spiritual growth, and and that can be a wonderful place to be. It is a wonderful place to be, but yet there's more. But I think so many of us have have are in that place of of feeling um just kind of that more mediocre, uh, a mediocrity around our Christian Christianity. So when Jesus says that I um I've come to give you life and life more abundant, that doesn't you there's a there's an intellectual ascent and agreement. This is what this is these are the words of Jesus, of course they're true, but I'm not experiencing that. And I think one of the reasons we're not experiencing that is because of the way that God designed us as image bearers of God to live out our image bearing, to actually bless the image-bearing in one another as male and female, to learn as men how to bless our brothers in a way that is forthright and honest, that it that isn't uh, you know, where where we're not ashamed to really call out the good that we're seeing in someone or the blessing that they are to us, where women can do that, women tend to be more comfortable with that and tend to do that more. But man, some some real affirmation could go a long way and does go a long way to helping us uh really enter into a more secure place in who we are as men and women made in the image of image of God. And and I do believe that men have a calling to I think women have a calling to lead, don't misunderstand me. But I think there is a way in which a man has been called to spiritually lead his home. And I think there are many women who are dying for their husbands to lead. Now, let me also just say this I know what it's like to be sitting beside Melissa where you are and having the pastor say something about something that's been a sticking point between us and feel and and I hear it coming, and I'm immediately thinking about what she's thinking about what he's saying about me, and and I bristle rather than humbly hearing the truth, I bristle and I harden my heart. We are dying for men to rise up and to start leading, and I think that sometimes men feel like I don't know how to lead well, and I feel like when I do lead, then she's telling me I'm doing it wrong. Hello. But somehow we have to get to a place where we recognize God's design. When we get so far from God's design that we get into the LGBT world, we as Christians can start to see, wow, that's really off. Can we start to see in our own world how we're not living it out well? How we're not blessing one another, how we're not living into the fullness of what it means, how I as a man open a doorway to my home, my wife, and my children by by my active sinning, that I give access to the demonic realm, to my home by by not putting guardrails up and by not having other men that are walking with me that I'm doing life with, and I'm and I'm refusing to give in to those familiar patterns of temptation in my life. Do you know what I'm talking about? Anybody else? And so I'd we just want to uh if the band would come up and and um or whoever may come up, just to I just want to give an opportunity as we're wrapping up here, and I know we're beyond, we're just after noon, so we won't belabor this long, but I just want to give an opportunity for for not just for men, for women, but certainly for men, but for women, for young people. Look, if it do you want, do you want to tap more into God's intention for you? Yes, the prayer team can come up. Do you want to do you want to tap more into God's intention for you of what it means to bear his image well? Hello, who doesn't want that? To to have eternal purpose. We have two core longings. There's probably a number, but there's two core longings that I oftentimes think of, and it is this deep sense, this deep need that God gave us to belong. And just coming to a church doesn't mean that you you may be a member of the church. That doesn't mean that you have that deep sense, that inner sense of belonging and really being family. And then the second sense is um, and that idea of belonging is this fully known and fully loved. Well, most people aren't experiencing what it's like to be fully known or fully loved because they're not fully known. And then secondly, it's this longing that we have is image bearers of God made in his image to have an eternal purpose. I think many times we are bored with life, we're scrolling everywhere, we're binging uh a variety of places, uh Netflix or Amazon or whatever, trying to fill up a lot of gaps because because we we are not tapped into what does it look like for me to be a part of God's eternal story and his eternal plan to be involved in rescuing lives out of darkness, out of bondage. Lord Jesus. Well, I just want to invite you to stand actually before I pray. I want to invite you as we're praying to just come up to the front. If you want more of a of this sense of, Lord, I don't, I want, I maybe I have a pretty good idea of what it means to be a woman made in your image, a man made in your image, but God, I want to step into that even more. I want, I want the more that you have for me. I want to know, Lord, what it's like to live into a fuller eternal purpose. I want to know what it's like to really belong in a way that feeds my soul and the deepest longings of my heart to be loved and to be known. I want to invite you forward as we're praying. Come on up at any point during the prayer time. Jesus, I I just I thank you that you are still one who rescues lives.

SPEAKER_04 46:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

And God, I thank you that many times I say that there's nothing special about me, and that's not exactly true. There's something very special about me, but there's nothing more special about me than anybody else in the room.

SPEAKER_03 46:18

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

We are all special to you. I don't know how you do that, but you see us. You see us in this room.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 46:31

In our shame, in our doubt, Jesus, in our anxiety and our fear, in our pride. You see us and you know us, and you are wooing and drawing us. I pray that your sons and daughters will respond to just present themselves to you and say, Jesus, maybe I've done this 500 times in this church. And I think every one of those times has had value. Let's add some more value. Lord, would you invite your sons and daughters to just come into this space of wanting to be more and more equipped, more and more aware, to get it at a level that is deep in the soul, in the core of each person, of what it means, the glory that you've given us to be made in your image.

SPEAKER_03 47:21

Yes, Lord.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

To bear that image as sons and daughters of the Most High God, to live out our calling as image bearers, at work, in the grocery store, yes, Lord, in our neighborhoods, in our homes, our families, especially. Our homes are our first mission field. And God, for for fathers, I pray for fathers to really rise up, to have a desire to be stirred up, to lean into, God, I want to do this better. I want to do this better for my young children. I want to, as a as a dad of older kids, maybe adult children, I want to learn how to bridge a gap that maybe was never bridged. I look back with lots of regret on that. The regret doesn't serve you. Maybe there's some repentance that needs to happen, some acknowledgement of sin. But Jesus wants to empower you, no matter where you're at, to meet your kids where they're at.

SPEAKER_03 48:20

Yes, Lord.

SPEAKER_01 48:21

To meet whether it's biological children or spiritual children, you have a role to play in the life of the church, in the body of Christ.

SPEAKER_02 48:32

Come Lord Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 48:36

Yes, Lord. Come, Lord Jesus, come, Lord Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

Again, if you'd like prayer, if you'd like to just come up in front and do some business with God, just thank you, Lord. Come ahead.

SPEAKER_04 48:52

Come, Jesus. Yeah, your Father in heaven sees you. And that is a good thing. That is not a scary thing. He wants you to come out of the shadows, to come out of the shame, to come out of the hiding, to come out of isolation, to come out of confusion in Jesus' name, to come out of confusion in Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

I've had lots of conversations with Pastor Michael and Pastor Matt and Cornell and others here, just about um the desire to go deeper in relationships and with men, bands of brothers, bands of sisters, and just really pursuing this deeper life of relationship and being vulnerable with one another. And I again, I just want to encourage you and invite you to come and do some business with God and to talk to your leaders about Lord, about where I can get, I want I think the Lord wants me to get plugged in somewhere. And of course he does. That's biblical. And so, where can you get plugged in? How can you become a part of some of these bands of brothers or bands of sisters that um New Covenant is wanting to um uh to develop um even more fully than what you guys have before?

SPEAKER_03 50:13

Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord Thank you, Jesus.